I wish I could make you feel the salt of my tears on your skin,
how it drags across the flesh like gritted sand and leaves it burning.

I wish I could make you feel how swollen my throat gets,
when I choke back my screams in favor of keeping peace,
swallowing them down instead,
like knives against my esophagus.

I wish I could make you understand how terrifying the darkness can be,
when it covers you at night with the unknown,
when the potential it's weighted with suffocates you against the sheets and holds you there.
I wish I could make you fear it like I do.

I wish I could make you feel the emptiness inside,
how it feels to be carved from the inside out and rid of everything that made you whole,
made you human.

But most importantly,
I wish I didn't wish this for you at all.